LUCAS Device Promoted To Paid Employee

It’s not often that machinery or equipment becomes a member of paid staff, however that’s exactly what’s happening in rural Ohio.

LUCAS devices are used to provide cardiac compressions to patients requiring CPR, a procedure that normally requires an EMT or paramedic to constantly perform the manoeuvre.

While these devices are not usually paid, this trend is being broken in Ohio after a LUCAS device, who was previously a volunteer, has been offered a paid position.

Ohio Paramedic Phil McAvity told us it was the strangest thing he’d ever seen.

“I never knew these LUCAS devices got paid.. To me they’re just another piece of equipment in EMS, they’re always there when we need them and help free up our hands while working an arrest.”

“The concept of paying a device a salary is foreign to me”

The LUCAS device in question is pictured below:

*This article is satire (duh).*

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