EMT Cardiacs in Rhode Island will be subject to higher training & education standards after new protocols come into effect later this week.
A spokesperson for the Rhode Island EMS Agency revealed the details of the new education standards to us.
“Due to concerns around low levels of training and education, and poor skill levels, we have decided to increase the education and training requirements of our EMT Cardiacs effective immediately.”
“All EMT Cardiacs will now have to watch the entire series of both M*A*S*H* and House M.D. in order to qualify as an EMT Cardiac in Rhode Island.”
“We understand that these additional requirements are not completely closing the gap in training, however they are a vast improvement on their current training.”
The new training will also expand their scope of practice, with a scene from M*A*S*H* teaching them how to perform a Tracheostomy.
We just really hope that they don’t miss the Trachea this time…
*This article is purely satire. (Duh)*