Greta Thunberg To Lecture EMT Class in Rhode Island

The 17 year old Swedish Climate Activist is expected to be lecturing an EMT-Cardiac class in Rhode Island this month, being welcomed by the Rhode Island EMS School as an expert in her field.

“We are hoping Greta can help our EMT-Cardiac students to be better prepared for the job they are soon to embark on,” The Rhode Island EMS Chief said in a statement this morning.

But one Student at the Rhode Island EMS school isn’t pleased about the unexpected announcement.

“She’s not even an expert!” said Justin Heras, an EMT-Cardiac in training.

Addressing Justin’s concerns, the Rhode Island EMS Chief assured us that Greta is indeed a subject matter expert. “When it comes to teaching our EMT-Cardiacs the art of Intubation, Greta, being full of hot air, is a very highly qualified expert.”

“She also happens to be on a panel of COVID-19 Experts, so she must know what she’s talking about.”

We reached out to Greta for comment, and she was eager to talk to us up until we questioned what qualifies her to be considered an expert, at which time she just yelled “HOW DARE YOU!” before hanging up the phone.

Following our interview being cut short, we were served with a cease and desist letter accusing us of stealing her dreams, and her childhood.

*This article is purely Satire (duh)*

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