EMT Set To Receive Huge Pay Rise

An EMT is set to receive a considerable pay rise within the next month, in addition to improved working conditions, shorter shifts and further employee benefits, all thanks to filling out some forms online, and attending a short interview.

After 5 years of being an EMT, Ben Derhover is now set to hang up his stethoscope, and exchange the star of life for the golden arches.

“It just made sense to me,” said Mr Derhover, “Why work so hard, for such a low wage, when I can make much more for doing much less?”

Ben isn’t the first EMT to make the switch from fast response times to fast food.

Liz Bien, a Paramedic, also recently made the switch to working for McDonalds.

“After switching industries, I now make an extra $3.15 per hour, work shorter shifts with a guaranteed break, have never been assaulted on the job, get free or discounted meals while working, and as an extra bonus, I’m not exposed to highly contagious diseases or bodily fluids.”

“It’s a win-win.”

This article is satire (duh)

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